Now that we're at the proper warning level, we can move on to making fun of "The Decision." I was thinking about making some Mt Sinai and Lebron coming down to speak joke and then some King James bible reference and then something about rumors about his mom that would let her play the roles of both Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene and then some bad resurrection analogy. But I realized my religious knowledge wasn't enough to have it make sense.
Then I could make a joke about the Bachelor or some reality show but everyone's doing that. So I'm going to go with Lebron-brand entertainment: idea one is a variety show involving Lebron and his business associates singing, dancing and telling wholesome family jokes. It'll be a fun heart-warming affair for the whole family. The other idea is Lebron announces his destination and then uses the remaining 55 minutes to sell the next can't-live-without kitchen appliance. Ron Popeil has his "Set It And Forget It" rotisserie, Mr. T has his "Set It To Cook And You're Off The Hook" counter top oven, George Foreman has his grills, and The Magic Bullet speaks for itself. What will Lebron's hot new cooking item be? Tune in at 8pm to find out.
So, as a happy bonus for people who want to know my own bad sports thoughts, maybe I'll just give my thoughts on the Bulls next year without (or possibly with) Lebron. To keep you, the loyal reader, entertained and to honor Rush playing at both Summerfest and Northerly Island this past week and to point out that Lebron is in the limelight: Here's Limelight by Rush.
Bulls Outlook
By Me
The Bulls have cleared enough room for nearly enough for 2 max contracts. One was just filled by Carlos Boozer. If Lebron comes to Chicago, they are the favorite to win the East. Boozer, Noah, Rose and Shooting-guard-to-be-named-later would be a formidable force. Especially if they can play the defense that Tom Thibodeau helped coach with Boston. Now, if Lebron goes elsewhere, the Bulls could sneak in a run. They have a solid front court, an all-star point guard, Luol Deng (for what its worth), and will have money and a chance to sign a shooting guard like 45%+ 3-point shooter Anthony Morrow. They won't be a runaway team, but they could put up a solid fight. Or this is all Lebron rationalization and delusion rattling around my head.
Lebron and Miami:
That's trouble. 3 All-stars and Michael Beasley. There wouldn't be much around those 3, but they wouldn't need too much else. If he doesn't want to be seen as Wade's sidekick and goes elsewhere, then Miami is beatable. Bosh & Wade isn't streets ahead of Boozer & Rose. That and Miami only has Beasley on their roster right now. The big free agent announcement today doesn't make them the favorite.
New York Knicks:
They signed Stoudemire and have a coach who likes his teams to shoot as quickly as possible. His teams never play defense, which could be their downfall.
New Jersey Nets:
They have Jay Z and a rich Russian owner and are moving to Brooklyn in a few years: but they haven't made moves to make their team more attractive to free agents. If Lebron does go there, they do have enough talent where they'll be a tough team to beat. But it seems unlikely right now that he will.
LA Clippers:
With VDN as their head coach, its only a matter of time before Lebron sees the light and makes people realize that the Clippers are both a basketball team and a type of ship.
Cleveland Cavs:
If Lebron stays in place, then the Cavs will win 55+ games. They haven't been able to get a solid second player to help him-- he'll be the the only act in town there.
Teams Not In The Lebron Derby:
Boston Celtics:
Team's stars are getting a year older and seemed tired in the finals. They'd need help to be a threat.
Orlando Magic:
Dwight Howard is a force, but their shooters are getting older too and how much can you fear a team that targeted Chris Duhon as a free agent and signed him to a 4 year - $15 million contract.
When this is all settled, the Bulls will have already put themselves in a position to be in the top three in the East. They'll have a chance to go to at least the finals- If they get Lebron I think they'll go to the finals.
Well, there's my bad sports thoughts. Enjoy ripping them apart. I do insist.
Wow, I had no idea that Rush Limbaugh put an album out!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that LeBron's mom works as Mary or Mary Magdalene, since neither of them were hooking up with Jesus' teammates and all.
GREAT use of "streets ahead" in your bad sports thoughts. I knew that'd catch on! But you forgot to mention the outlook for the Hornets now that they have Aaron Gray. I predict mediocrity.