Lebron Push Back

Following the Lebron The Decision the other day, most the columns ripped Lebron's decision and the manner in which he announced it.  Adrian Wojnarowski of Fox Sports, Jason Whitlock for Fox Sports, and Scott Rabb on Esquire.com all wrote piercing critiques of the decision, the production, the situation, the man and all other definitives. 

In the days following that, like the tide rolling back out to the ocean, the opposite sentiment comes out.  Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald wrote a sugar-coated, chocolate-topped, high fructose corn syrup injected, nut covered, cherry topped puff piece love letter to Lebron James.  Lacy Banks of the Suntimes boldly came out and had the controversial thought: Lebron within his rights to leave Ohio.  Others compared the situation to slavery-- apparently there is a way to compare free agents leaving to make millions of dollars to slavery.  It is a well founded argument that isn't lazily injected with unfounded inflammatory language.

So I'm going to work on the Lacy Banks column first then Dan Le Batard tomorrow (cliffhanger!).  So enjoy some odd thoughts and a flimsy column and Akron/Family.  Article after the video.




LeBron within his rights to leave Ohio
By Lacy J Banks
July 13, 2010


Where would America be if not for free agency?

Not playing for the Yankees.

Free agency is the bedrock of America's capitalistic enterprise.

That and mergers, sales, loans, capital and lying to Congress.

Thanks to ''The Decision'' former Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James made last week to sign with the Miami Heat, the spotlight on free agency has been intensified.

Well, yeah- when the greatest free agent opportunity in sports history happens, people tend to pay attention.  So much that teams were dumping salary for the last 2-3 years just to have a small chance to sign players.

Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, who also owns Quicken Loans Inc., made a fool of himself when he viciously criticized James for joining another team to enhance his chance of winning a championship ring. But James simply was exercising a right enjoyed by 99.9 percent of America's work force.

Yes, Dan Gilbert's letter made a fool of him, but it was just a reaction to losing.  Gilbert is a sore loser. 

And who's the .1% or Americans that can't leave a job of their own will?  That's like 20 or 30 million people-- that's more of a story.  Are you counting children in that percentage or the unemployed or those in a coma?  Or is that just a lazy use of the 99.9%?  I would've gone with 110%-- cause its that American.


This includes Gilbert. No city is granted inherent ownership of any worker. Sure, James was born in nearby Akron, Ohio, and he called the Cavaliers his hometown team.

Bold thesis.  Hopefully it can be supported.

But once a worker wants to change jobs, that is his right to do so as an American. After all, Gilbert, a multimillionaire, was not born in Cleveland. He was born in Detroit and still lives in Michigan. But he never concentrated his business investments solely in Detroit or more needy Flint.

Well, for 99.9% of Americans apparently.  It is their right.  Unless they're worried about being uninsured while they're looking for another job.  But changing jobs isn't really the argument people are making....

And speaking of rights as Americans-- its Dan Gilbert's right to write an angry letter and make a fool of himself.

Rather, while Gilbert's Quicken Loans Inc. is headquartered in Detroit, he owns companies outside of the city. And nobody in Michigan ever accused Gilbert of ''cowardly betrayal,'' as he did James.

Maybe he didn't leave anyone feeling like a jilted lover.  He also didn't have a fan base or an international sports image he had been building.

More than 99.9 percent of NBA players have been able to exercise their options when they became free agents.

I don't even know what this sentence means. I don't know what "exercise their options" means.  Enough with the 99.9%.  And to be fair, the NBA has a draft, so most players entering a league don't have a choice of where they go.  Where's that add into the 99.9% math?

America's constitution grants all its natives the free agency to be in charge of their own careers, their personal lives and property.

Fun fact:  The Bill of Rights has the whole life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness thing in it.  The Property was part of John Locke's thoughts.   And its not just natives, but all citizens. The Constitution didn't exactly account for everyone's free agency.  There was that whole 3/5ths thing. 

Using the NBA as another example, very few of its players play and spend an entire career in the cities of their births. One of those few exceptions is Hall of Fame guard Gail Goodrich. He was born in Los Angeles and played all but four of his 14-year career playing for his hometown Lakers.

Damn, you could have used the 99.9% number here. 

What do Barack Obama, Jerry Reinsdorf, Michael Jordan, Walter Payton, Oprah Winfrey, Billy Williams, Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Mike Ditka, and the late Gwendolyn Brooks have in common? They are great Chicagoans born outside Chicago.

And if, say Michael Jordan, left in his prime-- would you as a fan be bothered?  Probably.  Would you write a column, letter or otherwise vent?  I'm guessing yes.

Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Karl Malone, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Hakeem Olajuwon, Bob Cousy, Charles Barkley, Serena and Venus Williams, Shaquille O'Neal and Elgin Baylor likewise used their free agency to earn their fame and fortunes playing for teams in cities far away from their birthplaces.

You might need to look up the definition of free agency.  Magic Johnson was drafted by L.A.  Larry Bird was drafted by Boston.  Serena & Venus don't even play for teams.  I don't understand your definition of free agency.  Or the point of any of this. 

Being born in Akron never restricted James from working anywhere else. The main thing James owes his hometown is greatness. And the greater he becomes, the more Akron can brag that it all started there.

You're right, it didn't.  And James could have at least not gone on a megahyped one hour ego fest and break his hometown's heart.  The problem is not his decision but how he went about it.  He abandoned Ohio on national tv.  Oh, and the Cavs no longer have the best player in their history-- a decent reason for the team owner's anger to build.  His letter was foolish, but no one needed to defend Lebron's right to free agency or to leave the Cavs.  99.9% of the people had that figured out and 99.91% can identify a ranting loon. 

Warning Level: Blackwatch Plaid

The Cubs are going for their fourth straight win-- which would be the longest winning streak in major league history.  I'll keep you updated as I write.

The King has spoken: Lebron is heading to Miami, so the basketball warning level is back down to "Blackwatch Plaid".  Your line-up will consist of Wade, Lebron, Bosh and... well, whatever they can get to get around the cap.  That means one mid-level exception player and league-minimum players.  Beasley is likely out so all three can sign.  Advice to teams playing the Heat: get the ball into the post and go after their center and Bosh.  It might be a defensive soft spot.

The man who's Nike ad campaign is/was "We Are All Witnesses" has gone from striking a Jesus pose on a gigantic billboard outside Quicken (Gund) Arena to being a sidekick to Dwyane Wade in Wade County, Florida.  Being a sidekick doesn't always help with your international brand -- Pippen didn't sell as many jerseys as Jordan.  The Heat are Wade's team, and, even if Lebron is MVP and they win the championship next year, it'll most likely still be seen as Dwyane Wade's team.  That might change, but Wade set this up and was in the forefront in the whole process.

Also, "The Decision" was an hour long special to announce James' Destination.  Lebron is a great basketball talent but he is as interesting as an inanimate carbon rod.  Really, just say "Miami" and then get Jay-Z to perform for an hour.  Is that too difficult of a special?

So here's some quotes from the KC Johnson article on the Tribune website.  Anyhow, quotes and snarkiness after the video.  Bienvenidos to Miami.  (Side Note: Congrats on the Emmy nominations Dexter)




LeBron James leaves Cavs for Heat
By K.C. Johnson
Chicago Tribune

The decision, made at exactly 8:27 p.m. Chicago time, creates a new Big Three in the NBA and validates Heat President Pat Riley's bold, grandiose plan to alter the balance of the Eastern Conference. It also rips the guts out of the Cavaliers franchise and its home city.

8:27pm.  That's 27 minutes too long to announce where you're going.  You really had nothing interesting to say, so there's really no reason to wait past 8:01.30 (give people a chance to tune in) to announce.  You're boring and wasting time. 

"This is very tough ... this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat," James told interviewer Jim Gray. "It's going to give me the best opportunity to win and win for multiple  years. I want to be able to win championships and I feel I can compete down there."

You could win for awhile.  Although Wade might age pretty quickly (he does have a lot of minutes on his legs) and 3 players for $48+ million might create budget problems. 

Asked whether playing with Wade and Bosh was his plan all along, James said, "I can't say it was always in my plans because I never thought it was possible. But the things the Miami Heat franchise has done to be able to free up cap space and put themselves in position this summer to have all of us, it was hard to turn down."

So this last week was a waste of our time.  They got rid of every player they could--was it really not the plan going into July 1?


As for how he would explain his decision to fans in Cleveland, James said, "It's heartfelt for me. There were 20,000-plus fans who came out every night we played and they saw me grow from an 18-year-old kid to a 25-year-old man. I never wanted to leave Cleveland. My heart will always be around that area. But the greatest challenge was for me is to move on."

The greatest challenge actually is to get a winner in Cleveland.  Its been awhile. 

Shown a live shot on TV of Cavaliers fans burning his jersey, James said, "I hoped fans would understand and maybe they won't. I feel awful that I'm leaving, but I feel even worse that I wasn't able to bring a championship to that city. I hope my real fans will continue to support me, and I'll see you this fall."

So they're only your real fans if they're fully behind you breaking their hearts.  Just a way sports work- usually the cheering hierarchy is team-team's best player-team's grindiest player.  Don't ask your fans to be loyal to you when your own loyalty to them just went south.

If you really felt bad about not bringing a championship to that city, you could've done something about it.  Really, you were in the best position to do so.  I'm guessing you're more upset about not winning a championship for yourself.  Move on if you want, but don't say you feel awful when you're the one that could reward the fans. 

Good luck in Miami, because there's a lot more fans that will savor the schadenfreude for every game and playoff series you lose. 

And the Cubs are now down 3-2.

Warning Level: Moving Pictures

Lebronmania is nearing an end.  In less than 24 hours, the world will know the decision that could save your favorite basketball team or destroy it.  Because of this, I'm gonna raise the warning system from "Blackwatch Plaid" to the cover of Rush's seminal album "Moving Pictures." (Bonus points for anyone who knows what I'm talking about).  Oh, and the worst attempt to create a basketball player via Rachael Ray (thanks to Food Network Humor for posting this).  It gets bad and creepy quickly.


Now that we're at the proper warning level, we can move on to making fun of "The Decision."  I was thinking about making some Mt Sinai and Lebron coming down to speak joke and then some King James bible reference and then something about rumors about his mom that would let her play the roles of both Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene and then some bad resurrection analogy.  But I realized my religious knowledge wasn't enough to have it make sense. 

Then I could make a joke about the Bachelor or some reality show but everyone's doing that.  So I'm going to go with Lebron-brand entertainment:  idea one is a variety show involving Lebron and his business associates singing, dancing and telling wholesome family jokes.  It'll be a fun heart-warming affair for the whole family.  The other idea is Lebron announces his destination and then uses the remaining 55 minutes to sell the next can't-live-without kitchen appliance.  Ron Popeil has his "Set It And Forget It" rotisserie, Mr. T has his "Set It To Cook And You're Off The Hook" counter top oven, George Foreman has his grills, and The Magic Bullet speaks for itself.  What will Lebron's hot new cooking item be?  Tune in at 8pm to find out.


So, as a happy bonus for people who want to know my own bad sports thoughts, maybe I'll just give my thoughts on the Bulls next year without (or possibly with) Lebron. To keep you, the loyal reader, entertained and to honor Rush playing at both Summerfest and Northerly Island this past week and to point out that Lebron is in the limelight: Here's Limelight by Rush.


Bulls Outlook
By Me

The Bulls have cleared enough room for nearly enough for 2 max contracts.  One was just filled by Carlos Boozer.  If Lebron comes to Chicago, they are the favorite to win the East.  Boozer, Noah, Rose and Shooting-guard-to-be-named-later would be a formidable force.  Especially if they can play the defense that Tom Thibodeau helped coach with Boston.  Now, if Lebron goes elsewhere, the Bulls could sneak in a run.  They have a solid front court, an all-star point guard, Luol Deng (for what its worth), and will have money and a chance to sign a shooting guard like 45%+ 3-point shooter Anthony Morrow.  They won't be a runaway team, but they could put up a solid fight.  Or this is all Lebron rationalization and delusion rattling around my head.

Lebron and Miami: 
That's trouble.  3 All-stars and Michael Beasley.  There wouldn't be much around those 3, but they wouldn't need too much else.  If he doesn't want to be seen as Wade's sidekick and goes elsewhere, then Miami is beatable.  Bosh & Wade isn't streets ahead of Boozer & Rose.  That and Miami only has Beasley on their roster right now.  The big free agent announcement today doesn't make them the favorite.

New York Knicks:
They signed Stoudemire and have a coach who likes his teams to shoot as quickly as possible.  His teams never play defense, which could be their downfall. 

New Jersey Nets:
They have Jay Z and a rich Russian owner and are moving to Brooklyn in a few years: but they haven't made moves to make their team more attractive to free agents.  If Lebron does go there, they do have enough talent where they'll be a tough team to beat.  But it seems unlikely right now that he will.

LA Clippers:
With VDN as their head coach, its only a matter of time before Lebron sees the light and makes people realize that the Clippers are both a basketball team and a type of ship.

Cleveland Cavs:
If Lebron stays in place, then the Cavs will win 55+ games.  They haven't been able to get a solid second player to help him-- he'll be the the only act in town there.

Teams Not In The Lebron Derby:

Boston Celtics:
Team's stars are getting a year older and seemed tired in the finals.  They'd need help to be a threat.

Orlando Magic:
Dwight Howard is a force, but their shooters are getting older too and how much can you fear a team that targeted Chris Duhon as a free agent and signed him to a 4 year - $15 million contract.

When this is all settled, the Bulls will have already put themselves in a position to be in the top three in the East.  They'll have a chance to go to at least the finals- If they get Lebron I think they'll go to the finals.

Well, there's my bad sports thoughts.  Enjoy ripping them apart.  I do insist.

Major Basketball News. And I Make Fun Of The World Cup

Finally, the long wait is over: we now know that.... Vinny Del Negro is the next head coach of your Los Angeles Clippers!  Possession after possession of the team's best player not getting the ball, inbound plays that end with the center trying to create off the dribble from 5 steps above the key, and not having timeouts left at the end of the game are all West Coast Bound!  Congratulations, Clippers.  You're in for a treat.

Oh, Lebron James is announcing where he's going next year this Thursday at 8pm central time.  It will be part of an hour long special that, I'm guessing, will include pyrotechnics, dancing horses, Stuart Scott saying "Boo-yeah" to as many James highlights as possible, the Cleveland Tabernacle Choir, Patrick Kane, Lebron descending from the ceiling, and the finest in cross-promoting synergetic advertising ESPN/ABC/Disney can put together (Remember, Jimmy Kimmel Live-late night on your local ABC affiliate).

It is not known which team James will join or where the announcement will take place.  

I can only assume this means it will happen at James' underground lair as he will acquire the Batcave as part of his max contract.

I might be a little David Haugh intensive lately, and Jim O'Donnell was let go by the Suntimes, and I've missed Frank Deford, so I decided to be kind of lazy and make fun of soccer.  Bill Simmons did a Q&A on the World Cup trying to make a case that its soccer's coming out party.  Article after the new Wolf Parade song.  Enjoy.



Soccer is ready to capture our attention 
By Bill Simmons
July 1, 2010
Via ESPN.com 

Question No. 1: What's been the single best thing about the Cup so far?

I love the Cup because it stripped away all the things about professional sports that I've come to despise. No sideline reporters. No JumboTron. No TV timeouts. No onslaught of replays after every half-decent play. No gimmicky team names like the "Heat" or the "Thunder." (You know what the announcers call Germany? The Germans. I love this.)

So no things like being able to see the ball in the stadium, no replays to see how a play broke down.  And no team names.  Although Germany is kind of a well-known brand.  

No announcers breathlessly overhyping everything or saying crazy things to get noticed. 

GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAL!!!!  That's a bit of overhype.  Although there are some announcers (Gus Johnson, Bill Rafferty) that get too carried away, so I agree with his point in theory.

The World Cup just bangs it out: Two cool national anthems, two 45-minute halves, a few minutes of extra time and usually we're done. Everything flies by. Everything means something.

(Hang onto this one for a later question).

Question No. 2: What's the second-best thing?

Never during the CEO's reign of early-morning terror have I watched anything decent other than morning "SportsCenters" as I waited for 20 ounces of coffee to kick in. This month? I had the second half of every 4:30 a.m. PT game in Round 1, followed by the 7 a.m. game a little bit later. No offense, Hannah Storm and Josh Elliott, but it was nice to spend a few mornings watching a real sporting event instead of highlights of things that had happened eight hours before. For that reason alone, the 2010 World Cup will always be near and dear to my heart.

You know, there's soccer packages available through Directv.  You can watch soccer in the morning all the time.


Question No. 3: Why do we wait every four years to have the World Cup?

When I argued recently that the Cup should be every three years, readers flooded me with reasons it couldn't work: It's too expensive (apparently the Cup always loses money for whichever country gets it);

Wait, you want us to get excited for the World Cup when its a financial blackhole for the host country?

they'd have to do too much reconfiguring for smaller tournaments already in place (note: I don't get that argument; that's like saying you can't have the Oscars interfering with the SAG Awards or something); people like having it every four years because it's more meaningful that way (by that logic, you should have sex every four years, too); and most importantly, FIFA never wants to go head-to-head with the Summer Olympics.

So, instead of having smaller tournaments that might make money, you should push forward the World Cup to lose money?  Its like not having the Oscars every year because the Oscars are too damn expensive.  I don't get his argument here.

My counter for the last argument: Why not? So … we'd have MORE sports on? Wow, that sounds terrible! I'd hate to have all those exciting things to watch. And by the way, the Olympics should switch to every three years as well. I never understood the "No, it has to be every four years, that's the way they've always done it" argument. That's like saying "I'm not getting an HD plasma; I'm sticking with my old-school TV, that's the way I've always watched it." It's stupid. It's a loser's mentality.


Yeah, more sports.  Sports that end in a tie!  Didn't the U.S. team have a remarkable run and only win one game?  That's excitement.  And move the Olympics to every three years?  Awesome, Greece would've gone bankrupt sooner and London could be that much closer.

Question No. 4: How many times did you regret not ditching your family, ditching the NBA Finals, ditching the Celtics and flying 20 hours to South Africa for the World Cup?


Four times and four times only...

Wait, this World Cup is the greatest thing and you, as a reporter, didn't head over?

Question No. 6: Was it good or bad for the World Cup that Italy and France got bounced in the group stage?

Keeping USA, Spain, Germany, England, Italy and France around as long as possible makes me think about the Boston Tea Party, the War of 1812, Neville Chamberlain, Napoleon getting overthrown, multiple wars, Thomas Jefferson throwing his genitals around France like a boomerang, Benedict Arnold switching sides, all the times France surrendered or withdrew, and basically everything good and bad that's ever happened between those six countries. It's like having four solid weeks of AP History flashbacks.

So there's a French surrendering joke, that's always a fan favorite.  And I would've gone with Ben Franklin getting crazy and going all LiLo and/or Lady Gaga in France. What was the War of 1812 reference?  A war that was fought, had battles after it ended and ended up doing nothing but defining the US-Canadian Border?  Soccer flashed you back to a war with no point. 

Question No. 7: You haven't handled Boston's Game 7 loss to the Lakers very well. What was the snarkiest e-mail or text you sent to a Boston friend after hearing that Kobe was attending the USA-Ghana game?

It was a tie between "Since Kobe is attending this game, does this mean we're gonna get all the calls?" and "Kobe watched only six of the first 24 minutes but was still named MVP of his luxury suite."

Okay, some shots at Kobe.  He did at least go to the game...

Question No. 8: After a few legitimately horrendous World Cup officiating moments, as well as FIFA's bizarre refusal to incorporate instant replay haunting the Cup multiple times, do you feel better or worse about officiating and leadership in American professional sports?
 

I have slowly come to grips with the fact that officiating will probably be excruciating in whatever sport I happen to be watching. If it's better than "excruciating," it's a bonus. If it's better than "mediocre," you practically won the lottery. So the shaky officiating didn't change anything for me. FIFA's stance is that "we can't have instant replay in soccer, it's important that every FIFA-sanctioned game plays by the same rules, and we can't afford to have instant replay for every FIFA game, so instead, we won't have it at all, even though these World Cup games are 100 times more important than any other FIFA event."

So officiating always sucks, so that's okay.  At least he didn't include "The Human Element"- the euphemism for "Referees fucking things up."  And you don't want replay in soccer-- especially on plays that can easy be corrected-- like whether goals go in or not.  Yeah, there's some pics of replayable things here.

The next few questions don't have much to them...


Question No. 13: If you could change anything about soccer, what would it be?

I hate how teams milk leads in the last 15-20 minutes by faking injuries and taking forever to sub players. When that Ghana player had to be carried off on a stretcher at the tail end of the America game, then hopped off like nothing ever happened as soon as the stretcher was out of bounds, I thought that was appalling. Actually, it made me want to go to war with Ghana. I wanted to invade them. I'm not even kidding. That's another great thing about the World Cup: Name another sport in which you genuinely want to invade other countries when you lose.

So, going back to question one, where you loved the speed and straight forwardness of the World Cup-- now you say you hate teams milking leads and flopping and then miraculously recovering?  That sounds like the World Cup just banging things out.  Everything flies by. Everything means something.

Question No. 14: What's been the strangest thing about the 2010 World Cup?

To hear Germany described in such likable, underdoggy tones. Who would have thought these young upstarts would jell this fast? It's like the announcers were talking about the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays or something … if the Tampa Bay Rays had started two world wars and nearly brought down Europe.

You realize Germany hasn't started any wars in about 70 years, right?  I know they have a past but I think you can separate that from a soccer match.  Have some schnitzel and enjoy. (The Germans demand it).

Skipping to Q#19...

Question No. 19: Thanks to last year's Confederations Cup and Donovan's extra-time goal last weekend, do you think soccer is finally taking off in America?

Put it this way …

When I was in the third grade (1978), people thought soccer was taking off in America.

When I was a freshman in college (1988), people thought soccer was taking off in America.

When I was a barely employed wannabe sportswriter in Boston whose life revolved around the O.J. Simpson trial and partying every night (1994), people thought soccer was taking off in America.

When I was living in Boston with my fiancée and writing for ESPN.com (2002), people thought soccer was taking off in America.

I am 40 years old. I live in Los Angeles. My hair is turning silvery white. I have a wife, two kids, a mortgage and that same ESPN column. Guess what? People think soccer is taking off in America. Only this time … I agree with them.

We'll see how that works.  U.S. can build off the one historic win.


The Q#20 is one long winded answer defending his vision of the soccer revolution.  Its about the world getting smaller and sports being more accessible.

Being all cynical, I'm just going to say that until you can easily bet on the low-scoring/tie laden world of the World Cup, it won't be as popular as The Super Bowl or fantasy baseball or other fun betting.

Bill Simmons: Welcome to bad sports thoughts and thanks for contradicting yourself several times in your Q & A

Lebron Waiting Game

All right, Lebron is waiting to announce where he goes...  there's nothing but crazy speculation and conjecture- which is always entertaining.  There was more bad David Haugh writing, and I'll try to get that in a future post.  

Until then, here's Stephen Colbert trying out for the New York Knicks and interviewing Mike D'antoni.  Enjoy the thoughts of playing in the world famous orange Knicks uniforms.  Enjoy the thought of being paid millions of dollars not to play (He's talk about Eddy Curry, before you Googled Knicks Salaries).  The NBA salary cap is so much fun.  Enjoy the two parts:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Basketcase - Stephie's Knicks Hoop-De-Doo
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Basketcase - Stephie's Knicks Hoop-De-Doo Pt. 2
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

Stfu Dr. Phil

Due to the overwhelming success of my features fireDavidHaugh.com and What Is Frank Deford Talking About? I've decided to start a stfu series.  First up is Dr. Phil commenting on Lebron James' future.  On a bit for Jimmy Kimmel's Finals' pregame show, Dr. Phil took a weak metaphor of Lebron & Cleveland being in a romantic relationship and just beat the metaphor within an inch of its life.  It started out started out bad, got worse and was cringe worthy by the end.  If you want to read and watch it, head over here. 

Now, I've told bad many jokes and I've kept at jokes until they're no longer close to being funny anymore.  But I'm not on ABC.  I'm also usually drunk when I destroy premises and jokes.  Time to get to it- here's some of what he said:

LeBron James and the city of Cleveland, Ohio are at a crossroads right now. Cleveland loves LeBron, that much is clear. But LeBron has had difficulty thus far expressing whether or not he loves Cleveland enough to keep the relationship going.


Well, he's played there his whole career, and the Cavs have yet to assemble a championship team around him.  You're also forgetting that Lebron can make millions more by staying in Cleveland-- so, to continue the metaphor, he could stay in a loveless relationship in Cleveland strictly for the money.

The problem is, there's a lack of communication here. LeBron has to figure out what his needs are and express them to Cleveland. Maybe it's more money. Maybe it's more control. Maybe it's sex. Maybe Cleveland isn't giving LeBron the kind of sex he might imagine he would get from a city like Chicago. Let's face it, Chicago can be a real slut.

Well, Chicago actually is a slut.  We'll latch on to anything with a local angle, national exposure and some degree of success.  Whether its the Blackhawks or the Cubs from 2 and 3 years ago or Jennifer Hudson, if we can claim anything (and its Chicagoness) then there's no measuring how much fawning we do.

There's also really no failure to communicate here.  Not unintentionally at least-- Lebron has negotiating power and talking at all will only negate that.  Plus if Lebron wanted something (say, a coach), then word would get out and that coach would be hired.  The Bulls new head coach was hired mostly because word came out that Lebron was okay with him.  Lebron has everything in his control and sometimes everything is a pretty cool hand.



Anyhow, there's not much-- just thought I'd point out how bad the metaphor was.  So stfu Dr. Phil.

And here's more The Mountain Goats