Friday, June 25, 2010

FireDavidHaugh: Summer Solstice Edition (Part III)

Dustin Byfuglien is no longer a Blackhawk; Kirk Heinrich appears to be a soon-to-be former Bulls (only days after they hire a coach that knows his first name); Lebron James looks like he's not returning to Cleveland (prepare for crazy Lebron signing day parade); the White Sox have won 9 in a row; and the Cubs heroically won a game.

Oh, and David Haugh decided to had more bad thoughts on sports.  He finds it hard to let go of Big Buff. Does the article analyze the trade?  Not really.  It proclaims Byfuglien an "X factor" and essentially Aaron Rowand's him.  If the Blackhawks don't win next year, he can be the elusive missing piece/silver bullet/what-if ex/proof of God's existence that lazy writers (Read: most Chicago sportswriters) will reference ad nauseum.

My favorite part is where Haugh claims to be the critical thinking writer brave enough to not kowtow to the all-mighty Blackhawks organization.  Seems to me he was talking about how the Blackhawks should be aped in the article titled Cubs, Sox Need To Emulate Hawks.  I was even kind enough to make fun of it here in Part I of this series.  (Note: this was only supposed to be a 2 part series, but Mr. Haugh- being relentless- gave me a late entry).  Other Blackhawks articles he wrote included: Date With Destiny: Hawks Hoist Stanley Cup and Celebration Shows Hawks Have Taken City By Storm.  Articles that promise hard hitting criticism.

So here it is with some Jason Schwartzman and his Coconut Records project (and more proof I can keep up the summer and weather themes).  Article after the song.



Hawks will miss Byfuglien's physical play

In the Wake of the NewsJune 25, 2010
So who's the next popular Chicago pro athlete suddenly in need of a good realtor?

Derrek Lee? Bobby Jenks?

Always good to start with a rhetorical question.  I had a writing teacher in High School who hated starting papers like that.  With good reason-- its a lazy way to start a column.
The move came one day after the Blackhawks traded hockey cult hero Dustin Byfuglien and his $3 million salary along with Brent Sopel and Ben Eager to the Thrashers for two draft picks and three players whose names we aren't ready to learn how to spell just yet.
I think one of the players is a top prospect, scoring 40 some odd goals in the minors last year. Feel free to learn what the Hawks got before analyzing the trade.  It'd seem to be a sensible thing to do.  Or you can blather on about X factors and pointing out one game.  Let's see what he does...
When time passes, you should applaud the Hinrich deal for the way it improves the chances of landing LeBron James and Chris Bosh or any combination that makes the Bulls immediate Eastern Conference contenders. Hinrich saw his popularity wane since the Baby Bulls days but his professional approach and consistent effort playing defense always commanded respect and admiration.
I just like seeing sentences about James coming to the Bulls- it just makes me feel good.  Really no other reason to include this paragraph in my parsing.
Maybe seeing Hawks GM Stan Bowman pull off the Byfuglien deal inspired Forman. But Bowman did more than lighten his payroll. He lessened a championship hockey team.
Sketch idea:  Gar Forman is sitting on his couch reading the latest sports news on his laptop.  He sees Byfuglien is traded and picks up the phone.  "I just had an idea: if we traded someone it would be good!  Thanks Stan Bowman!".  Cut to Heinrich putting on Wizards hat.  End sketch.
Really?  Forman hasn't been trying to move Heinrich since at least the trade deadline.  And feel free to prove the "lessened championship hockey team," or at least support it.
Sorry, unlike many in town ready to applaud the Hawks out of habit, I had a harder time accepting the Byfuglien deal than the Hinrich move.
My favorite part again.  You just wrote an article praising the Hawks and saying they should be the model for Chicago sports teams.  YOU SITED THE FACT THE HAWKS WERE WILLING TO MAKE DIFFICULT DECISIONS AS PART OF WHY THEY'RE THE MODEL ORGANIZATION.  Not only are you wrong about you applauding the Hawks, you applauded the Hawks for exactly what they did with the trade.  
I have complimented Bowman practically for everything but his choice of ties in his first year on the job but, as tricky as this money morass is to navigate, trading Big Buff looks like a big mistake — short-term relief for long-time regret.
Same point: this is the difficult decision you've praised the Hawks for making.
As good as Kris Versteeg and Andrew Ladd are, I don't recall hearing as high of praise about them or any other supporting player. I don't recall any playoff teams worrying about devising specific game plans to counter any Hawk more than they did for Byfuglien. 
Didn't Vancouver focus on Buff one game and Toews ended up with a hat trick.  Remember, for most of the time, Byfuglien was playing with Kane and Toews.  They did kind of create some opportunities for him.
Why not start dealing with somebody who didn't have a playoff hat trick?
Another rhetorical question.  I'm assuming he's asking why you'd trade someone so good.  Answer: good players have more "value."  This "value" can get "value" in return in a trade.  The Hawks traded someone at what might be his highest value.  That's why not.
Byfuglien spent so much time with his backside in front of goalie's eyes that it's surprising the Hawks marketing department didn't consider selling advertising on his rear end.
Because marketing to one person seems like a bad campaign.  
What potential "X Factor'' does that now?  To steal a bit from the West Wing: no one knows.  That's why its called an "X factor."  
The Hawks held an advantage throughout the playoffs because they demonstrated an ability to play whatever style necessary. But with the head-hunting Eager and Sopel, the team's best shot-blocker, also on the way to Atlanta, the Hawks will have to prove again they can forsake finesse for force when needed the way they did in the playoffs thanks largely to Byfuglien.
Upset about Sopel leaving?  He's solid but not anything special.  His best skill was standing in front of pucks.  He can be replaced. The Hawks also had a lot of finesse.  
But Chicago can pack away those memories along with any "TEAM OF DUSTIN-Y,'' T-shirts that just became collector's items.

Um, weren't the shirts always collector's items?  I like to reminisce about bad puns too, but I don't carp on it.  Byfuglien is a good player, but, as you wrote in your last Hawks column, the salary cap is gonna get them.  And as you wrote previously, you think the Hawks excel in making tough decisions.  So what are you doing besides pandering to people who like Big Buff? 

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